I Get The Last Word (2 of 2)

I’ve been thinking about our organization as a whole, and how people in middle management, leads and other members of our team, and maybe some of our residents even, identify us as a “mom and pop run institution,” when we are anything but.

I’ve also been thinking about what it means to be a manager for my current company. I arrived as a non-manager who was more interested in health benefits than a paycheck. 

Everything I learned, I mostly learned on my own. I also began changing things, like how we track resident trips… Expenses… How we document correspondence… Create trip lists, etc. I made improvements where they were necessary. (It’s important to mention my boss was a paper person. The waste unconscionable. I am a computer person. My boss liked to handwrite notes, lots of notes. I am an emailer. Those descriptions alone are telling because they speak to time management and the lack of.)

Residents in our community keep telling me I have big shoes to fill, I don’t know what that means because I outgrew my boss’s shoes a long time ago, creating a path I had no intention of designing.

Regardless of whether it being my personal or professional life, I am always looking to improve. Regardless of age, it’s never too late to curate your life. It’s necessary if you want to stay current.

My boss wasn’t current. I tried desperately to show her how to better use our computer systems, especially software that was important to the efficiency of our department. Our normal was a call from her and me walking her through the steps.

Where do I go from here? I don’t know. I’ll have a better idea next week. What will be, will be. All I know is life goes on. Find happiness or be miserable forever. That’s everyone’s choice. 

As for my former boss, we have plans to connect, and I hope we do. Together, we do silly, stupid well. We know how to laugh at each other. I’ll never meet another person like her. Her kindness is unsurpassed. 

Bad bosses are not necessarily bad humans. Their negative behaviors in the office might be uncomfortable and not easily tolerated, but that doesn’t mean malicious intent.

Dear Boss… I know you meant well, but you struggle with leadership skills. I simply don’t think you were suited for this management role. I wish you the best. I care. – paerki 

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