Choices (1 of 2)
A moment of affirmation… I love my body! It is fit, shapely, flexible, and fabulous. I treat it well, more often than not. I put the effort in – eating well, drinking lots of water, exercising (walking & hiking), and stretching. The latter is particularly important. I am all about keeping it happy, healthy, and strong. I have no choice because I have challenges, but they have never gotten in the way of my personal or professional life.
My medical team takes good care of me, and it is because I take care of me. Living well sometimes has me researching homeopathic remedies, but I always include my doctor in the conversation.
Enjoying a career in healthcare, I have seen too many patients doing the wrong thing. I consider many of these patients my mentors, for they have guided me into doing what is right. They have helped me to stay focused. To all, I say, thank you.
These days, the public at large often fears doctors; I am not really sure why. The COVID pandemic did not help. Misinformation, ignorance, arrogance, simple stupidity, and “Karernism” has become the new norm. I attribute much of this to being less socialized, and it is making us less happy. A word to the wise… Do not believe everything you think. Read to understand.
With all that said, there are occasions when things go awry, and when they do I have to wonder why. I need a reason. I am always quick to take swift action, but sometimes it is too late.
I am currently dealing with a too late moment. As I write this, I am in unnecessary pain because I woke up Friday morning to inflammation. More specifically, blepharitis and shingles. It is important to mention, I have autoimmune disease, and stress exacerbates my condition. (What is more difficult than heart disease and cancer combined, is stress. Stress and anxiety will eat anyone alive and exacerbate any health condition. I am proof positive.)
I can manage normal stress, which I would reference as acute. Producing new ideas and eager to see the outcomes, hoping that all works well when there is a chance it will not is normal stress for me. And, when everything falls apart and you have to rebuild, that’s normal stress, too.
A recent example of abnormal stress has me dealing with someone at work who is passive-aggressive, who consistently procrastinates, often waiting to the last minute to complete a project. Of course this leads our department into missing deadlines. It is difficult when in this case you cannot rely on the leading team member. I often feel as if our projects are being purposely sabotaged. I am not used to this behavior. A lack of enthusiasm is part of it too, which I contribute to my colleague’s unhappiness with management. In short, passive-aggressive people are the worst. Unfortunately, they are unavoidable.
I was deeply frustrated yesterday, dissatisfied with a particular person’s behavior. It led to a heated debate. I tried to get someone to see a pattern, but all I got was the passive-aggressive smiley face of an I do not understand selfish human.
As I write this, I am reviewing the situation and I understand this is accumulative, especially for the past few weeks, but it hit its threshold on Thursday. I realized, there was an exacerbation in our dialogue at the beginning of the week, which had me feeling, what I term as “weird.” I felt as if something was not right.
I was so deep in my frustration that my spirit did not like it and rebelled. I failed to listen to my body. I was careless, allowing someone to get so deep under my skin, and now I am paying the price. Passive-aggressive people can do that.
Sadly, the situation is much worse than the mental because a specific person is turning 21 months of bliss into a life-changing moment of sadness. It is strange because I was able to navigate the passive-aggressive attitude, but even I have my limits.
I ask myself over and over again… Why didn’t I say or do something sooner? It is because I fell in love with a group of people, and I thought my focus on them would create a constant diversion. Also, I was too busy doing what I was asked to do, meant to do, and signed up to do. I am guilty of being a responsible employee.
My love affair for a group of unique personalities, who feel like family to my soul, I feel is ending sooner than I imagined. Sadly, I do not think there really is anything anyone can do about it.
Continue Reading: Choices (2 of 2)
