Expressions Of Hope
The Holidays Are Back
It’s hard to believe the season of holidays is back in my heart and ready to be explored with a thoughtful mind. It’s during this period when I think about age and time, and how quickly it passes before my eyes. This is good reason to pause, reflect and be present in the moment, enjoying each little nuisance, allowing me to create additional memories to last a lifetime.
There are so many challenges before all of us this season, with a troubled economy, a divided nation and people of power not lifting us up, as they should. There are too many with a divide and conquer mentality, sadly forgetting about the beautiful diversity that is us.
I won’t let that get me down or cloud my judgment, and I certainly hope you are of the same mindset, dear friend. This is an opportunity for happiness not sadness, giving not taking and, more importantly, loving not hating. This is a time for making peace with our enemies, for war should never be an option.
I’m hopeful we’ll be a bit kinder to each other, truly sharing, caring and giving from a genuine open heart. I pray we’ll be cognizant of our spending habits, not buying what we don’t have. There’s no denying we are a "give and get" society, but responsibility must be at the forefront of this endeavor.
Don’t forget there is more to giving than a store-bought gift. You can bestow the gift of words spoken from the heart… time without feeling the need to be quick… arms that can hug or be used to build or protect, and just being there in the moment is one of the best gifts anyone can give.
One of my favorite things to do this holiday season (besides the parties) is going to concerts and events that are community based. I love being with a crowd of people, laughing, smiling and being gay (pun intended). This is a wonderful way to celebrate with old friends and meet new ones, while keeping it real on all levels.
My wish this season is that we all learn to better coexist – respecting and appreciating our planet more and, more importantly, each other. I hope leaders will truly lead, and followers will follow with responsibility and not out of fear. May this truly be a period of reflection, looking back to see what didn’t work and moving forward into something that will, but only if we open our hearts to see that we won’t get anywhere if we don’t see the value in all. – paerki
Forgiveness
As I get older, I often wonder what is the best prescription for forgiveness. Common sense tells us that letting go of hurt, helplessness and anger will increase our confidence, hope and happiness. The most gratifying of all is finding perfect peace. Ahh, doesn't that sound wonderful? It sounds pretty simple to achieve, and maybe it is. For most it is a constant battle.
Forgiveness is defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
Over the years, people have said to me, "Forgive, forget and move on." If we take the forget out of the equation, we might just be on our way to a solution, understanding that forgiving isn't the same as forgetting what happened to you.
The act of being hurt will always be a party of you, but forgiveness can help you lessen its grip on your heart, aiding in your ability to move forward and focus on the other positive parts of your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify their actions and inappropriate behavior.
I also believe that not forgetting helps us to, we hope, not find ourselves in a repeated situation. They say we learn from our mistakes. Let it be the push you need to never hold a grudge, be stronger to self, while rebuilding the relationship with a more meaningful outlook.
The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us (family, friends, partners and coworkers). When we are hurt by someone we care about, trust and believe in, whether it be a betrayal, insult, abuse or rejection, it can be the biggest challenge to overcome. The more significant the person is in our life the bigger the challenge. I know because I have been there more than once, and that’s where I find myself today.
When we experience hurt from someone's words or actions, it’s hard not to feel extreme sadness or anger. We don't realize that these feelings start off small and more often than not increase over time unless we deal with them quickly. The first step in this process is acknowledging.
A grudge has much power. Too many times we give it more power than it deserves. It’s a cancer that crowds our positive feelings. Grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility have this amazing ability to cause significant damage to our overall happiness, especially when we replay the hurt over and over again in our mind – so not healthy. If this is allowed to continue, you might just find yourself confused, consumed with eternal bitterness, and that’s no way to live.
The key to forgiveness lies within you. Express your feelings in a positive way (hard to do sometimes). Make every attempt to step into the other person’s shoes because you just might gain a new perspective, which might move the forgiveness process along a little quicker. – paerki
