Mother's Day (Revisited)

 

To Mothers and Motherly Women – today is your day to shine. Thank you for listening, your heartfelt advice and those wonderful warm hugs. Let's all remember that appreciation is a gift that costs nothing, but worth more than you'll ever know.

Timing is everything. It isn’t cosmic magic or serendipity, either. I was meant to meet these strong, insightful, fabulous women. They bring much joy to my world. I am a better man for knowing them.

I am sharing the following because the women above have helped me to move on. I have come a long way in my journey, and still, I have millions of miles to go.

If you get anything from this message, I hope it's this... JUST LOVE.

Mother's Day 2014: Don’t judge me for what you may not understand. If you get anything from this… Love your children unconditionally, without judgment or pretense.

There are times when Mother’s Day evokes, well at least for me, both joy and sadness. I haven’t seen my mother in over 15 – perhaps 20 years. It wasn’t an easy choice I made, or a popular one for that matter. If you ever want to see what an expression of surprise, dismay and disapproval looks like, tell someone you don’t speak to your mother. The responses I typically get from friends… “You’ll regret it someday.” “My mom died. I wish I could have had more time with her.” “Forgive and forget.” “Don’t you miss her?”

Let the truth be told, I don’t miss her. I don’t miss the manipulation or being told I am an abomination – that my family will be in heaven one day, and I will reside in hell for a choice I never made.

When I said goodbye, so very long ago, it wasn’t easy. I was depressed for what seemed like an eternity. I felt powerless and unlovable – defeated by life. However, as time passed I would meet some extraordinary women who picked up where my mother left off, inspiring me to go the distance – women who gave love unconditionally. They encouraged me to be true to myself, teaching me empathy and resilience.

I am two decades strong of just being me – and I am thankful to my mother, not necessarily for giving me life, but for all those wonderful memories I have stored deep within my heart before love became conditional. I am content with what I have and need nothing more from her.

Cutting off a parent is not easy and not the right choice for everyone. Most days, I’m aware that there is a hole in my life. But at the same time, I also feel an unmistakable sense of relief – lightness. By letting go of her, I’m able to embrace love and caring from others in a way I never could experience before, and in a strange way, this becomes the greatest gift my mother ever gave to me.

This Mother’s Day, as in years past, I’ll feel a bit sad about not having a mom in my life. But then I’ll think about all those extraordinary, beautiful women in my world who lift my spirit high, higher, highest – and I’ll smile, feeling an abundance of joy because they are worth their weight in gold, and have given me my wings to fly. – paerki