Reflecting (An Update) - 2 of 2
I don’t usually eat lunch or take breaks, but prefer to use that time on occasion to visit residents who are in the healthcare facility on campus, the place they go to if they are ill, have a fall, or need extra assistance. That’s what I did a few days ago, I visited a special human who I met a few weeks into my job. I can easily recall our first meeting.
"I am learning a lot," says the man who fears age. You can’t work in this community if you’re not going to invest in these people’s lives. For better or for worse, we are a family. Much has changed since I started. I have befriended many people, and in such a short time. I am already beginning to see significant changes in my friends’ lives, especially as it pertains to their overall health.
As we age, it’s normal to experience challenges with our physical health. The most significant are related to our heart, bones – fractures, muscles – losing strength, flexibility and endurance, brain – a decline in memory and cognition, and eyes and ears – irreversible blindness or low vision, and significant hearing loss. And let’s not forget mental disorders. I recently read, one in four older adults will experience depression and/or anxiety.
When I am with our residents, I admittedly lose sight of their age. Too often I feel like I am just spending time with my friends. On other occasions, I feel like I am with my research patients – learning medical histories, offering advice and thinking to myself – I’ll see you at your next scheduled appointment.
In every situation, one must know their place, and I know mine. My job is to be creative, developing educational, fun and community driven activities. However, I feel as if I have a bigger purpose, and that’s to listen. Everyone just wants to be heard, and too many of us lose sight of this, at one time or another.
My required lunch and break time is always spent chatting with the residents, listening to their stories, which run the gamut. I also find myself stopping by work on the weekends after I visit my market nearby, to check on those residents who are a bit more challenged and don’t have family and friends close by.
I recently learned something about myself as this post clearly proves. I enjoy spending time with the RPP residents because they are a link to what I have missed in life but still have no regrets.
When I see our RPP residents, I see my parents. In a “normal” world, at this age in my life, I always imagined taking care of them. I always thought I would be their caregiver, and I would have been happy with that choice. My parents’ prejudice, ignorance and religion stopped that from happening.
I am happy to be working with a company and a group of residents who promote diversity, equity and inclusion. What makes me even happier is that I can spend time with residents who, like me, can appreciate a ridiculously awful, fun time.
When she first came into my office she said, “Hello, Paul! I am so happy you are here! I hear such great things about you. I know you’re gay, and that’s fabulous!” All I could do is laugh because her delivery was pure and innocent, and of good intention. She then began to tell me about the “truck load of gays” (her words, not mine) in her family and the wonderful things they are doing to make the world a better place. (I don’t need to tell you that this sweet human is one of the many loves of my life. Not just because of her words or because she is a hugger, but you can literally feel the happy energy emanating from her being. How lucky am I!)
I often talk about the place I am meant to be, and at this very moment this is where I am meant to be – planning programs and events, but also going that extra mile to help someone Zoom for a book club, pick up cat food at the grocery store on my day off, help a little old lady across the street (yes, there is a boy scout in me), and sometimes even cutting hair – yes, I am now a barber (who knew!).
I have spent a lifetime working in clinical research, managing clinical trials. I spent a significant amount of time traveling here and abroad for my work. Now, I plan programs and events for seniors. I accompany them to lectures, museums, concerts, gardens, etc. In all of this we learn and grow together. If that’s not beautiful, I don’t know what is.
Administratively, there are challenges. There are hurdles and obstacles to my success. I am hopeful for greater positive outcomes. Thus far, I’ve been pretty successful with workarounds, but patches only last for so long. I am optimistic, but also realistic.
I’ve been working at Roland Park Place (RPP), a Senior Living Community for 15 months. I work in the Programs & Special Events Department, creating activities for our seniors, who are well educated, smart, funny, and thriving, and who are determined to stay involved in their community. They really are an impressive group. As I have written before, I feel like I am in a masterclass, and I get paid for attending! (Don’t misunderstand me… This job is full of challenge and triumph, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world, for now.)
"I am learning a lot," says the man who fears age. You can’t work in this community if you’re not going to invest in these people’s lives. For better or for worse, we are a family. Much has changed since I started. I have befriended many people, and in such a short time. I am already beginning to see significant changes in my friends’ lives, especially as it pertains to their overall health.
As we age, it’s normal to experience challenges with our physical health. The most significant are related to our heart, bones – fractures, muscles – losing strength, flexibility and endurance, brain – a decline in memory and cognition, and eyes and ears – irreversible blindness or low vision, and significant hearing loss. And let’s not forget mental disorders. I recently read, one in four older adults will experience depression and/or anxiety.
When I am with our residents, I admittedly lose sight of their age. Too often I feel like I am just spending time with my friends. On other occasions, I feel like I am with my research patients – learning medical histories, offering advice and thinking to myself – I’ll see you at your next scheduled appointment.
In every situation, one must know their place, and I know mine. My job is to be creative, developing educational, fun and community driven activities. However, I feel as if I have a bigger purpose, and that’s to listen. Everyone just wants to be heard, and too many of us lose sight of this, at one time or another.
My required lunch and break time is always spent chatting with the residents, listening to their stories, which run the gamut. I also find myself stopping by work on the weekends after I visit my market nearby, to check on those residents who are a bit more challenged and don’t have family and friends close by.
I recently learned something about myself as this post clearly proves. I enjoy spending time with the RPP residents because they are a link to what I have missed in life but still have no regrets.
When I see our RPP residents, I see my parents. In a “normal” world, at this age in my life, I always imagined taking care of them. I always thought I would be their caregiver, and I would have been happy with that choice. My parents’ prejudice, ignorance and religion stopped that from happening.
I am happy to be working with a company and a group of residents who promote diversity, equity and inclusion. What makes me even happier is that I can spend time with residents who, like me, can appreciate a ridiculously awful, fun time.
Dear Residents, the next time I take you out to sail, I promise there will be sunshine… Lots and lots of sunshine. Thank you for adding a bit more sunshine into this sometimes weary traveler’s life. It means the world to me. – paerki
