A Special Hanukkah

When I was growing up, Christmas was a big holiday for me. I loved the smell of the evergreen trees (Frazier Firs are my favorite), the singing of carols, watching holiday shows (Frosty The Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, etc.), eating lots of sugar cookies, and my favorite part, the PRESENTS!

One of my memorable Christmases was when I was seven years old. I recall waking up and seeing so many gifts under the tree. There were bicycles, trucks, games, and much more. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all for me. I have four siblings, so I had to learn to share, but being the baby of the family, I received a sizable portion. To be honest, I did receive more than the others. Sorry, guys!

Religion was a big part of our holiday too. However, we sort of left that up to our parents, while the rest of us enjoyed our gifts. All were required to go to Church during the season.

As I got older things began to change. I was curious about my friends and how they celebrated the holiday season. A couple celebrated Kwanzaa, others were Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I believe there were a few others celebrating the season differently from me.

However, I never knew anything about the Jewish holidays, especially Hanukkah. Actually, I really didn’t know anyone who was Jewish until I met my friend Judy. She was the person to pique my curiosity. I appreciated her sharing her observance of the holidays, as well as life lessons that really were instrumental in keeping me focused through what I call my awkward years. She really made an impression on me with her kindness, generosity and loyalty. Thank you, Judy! You really made a difference in my life. It’s a gift never to be replaced.

As I get older I realize how interesting, fun and important it is for me to participate in my friends’ holidays. I always enjoyed celebrating the fall and winter ones with my friend Wendy. Halloween was one of our favorites, but celebrating Christmas and Hanukkah are memories I will cherish forever. We would exchange gifts, sing Christmas carols, go to parties and light the menorah. We gave each other equal time for our holidays. It was beautiful!

It really is great fun sharing the holidays with others. One should never deprive oneself of an opportunity to give, share, care and most importantly love during a remarkable season of expression.

Today, my dear friend Michael invited me to his home for day three of the Hanukkah candle lighting. I was deeply touched to receive the invitation. To me the ritual is warm, comforting, celebratory and filled with love. Celebrating Hanukkah with Michael made it that much special. Thank you, dearest friend.

For those who don’t know, lighting the Hanukkah menorah (also called the Hanukkiah) is the essential observance of the Jewish festival of Hanukkah. Hanukkah candles are lit to commemorate the miracle of the Maccabees' victory and the miracle of the oil that burned for eight days in the Temple.

The menorah is a candelabrum that holds nine candles: one for each night, plus a shammus (servant) at a different height. On the first night, one candle is placed at the far right. The shammus candle is lit and three berakhot (blessings) are recited: l'hadlik neir (a general prayer over candles), she-asah nisim (a prayer thanking God for performing miracles for our ancestors at this time), and she-hekhianu (a general prayer thanking God for allowing us to reach this time of year).

BLESSING 1: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us by His commandments, and has commanded us to kindle the lights of Hanukkah. BLESSING 2: Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the universe, who wrought miracles for our fathers in days of old, at this season. BLESSING 3: (This blessing is recited only on the first night or the first time one kindles the Hanukkah lights.) Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has kept us alive, and has preserved us, and enabled us to reach this time.

After reciting the blessings, the first candle is then lit using the shammus candle, and the shammus candle is placed in its holder. The candles are allowed to burn out on their own after a minimum of 1/2 hour.

Each night, another candle is added from right to left. Candles are lit from left to right (because you pay honor to the newer thing first). On the eighth night, all nine candles (the 8 Hanukkiah candles and the shammus) are lit. On nights after the first, only the first two blessings are recited. The third blessing, she-hekhianu is only recited on the first night of holidays.

The Hanukkiah candles are for pleasure only; they are not to be used for any productive purpose. The extra candle (the shammus) is used so that if one needs to do something useful with a candle, they don't accidentally use the Hanukkah candles. The shammus candle is at a different height so that it is easily identified.
My dearest Michael, it was nice to receive a text message from you asking if I would join you for the Candle Lighting. It brought back a flood of memories, which warmed my heart. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone other than you. I especially enjoyed hearing you recite the blessings in Hebrew. Maybe it will become a tradition for us.

Thank you for your gift of friendship. We’ve known each other for many years, have experienced some challenging moments, individually and as a team, and still we have managed to grow our friendship. I am a better person for knowing you. I am never bored listening to you talk about family, life and Shul. Your pride, humility and devotion are an inspiration to me. We are friends forever. Time, age and wisdom have served us well. It is a testament to our devotion. Wishing you and yours a beautiful holiday season. - paerki