Monday, May 18, 2009

Smile And Keep A Positive Attitude

I am currently reading The Civility Solution (What to Do When People Are Rude) by P. M. Forni. It’s a must read for everyone. It’s fair to say in today’s world, many people do not choose civility, thus failed relationships, unhappiness and a perpetual chasing of the tail. We need to agree that manners, morals and etiquette are essential to daily living. We must learn to coexist, respecting each other’s journey. We must also respect diversity.

One of my favorite chapters in The Civility Solution is Chapter 2: "Preventing Rudeness – Eight Rules for a Civil Life." Those rules consist of: Slow down and be present in your life, Listen to the voice of empathy, Keep a positive attitude, Respect others and grant them plenty of validation, Disagree graciously and refrain from arguing, Get to know the people around you, Pay attention to the small things and Ask – don’t tell.

The rule that stands out the most for me is “Keep A Positive Attitude.” A positive attitude will keep a smile on your face. Remember always that a smile enhances immunity, reduces muscle tension, and increases pain tolerance. It attracts positive responses from family, friends and coworkers. Each time you find that smile, hold it for as long as you can. Remember to share it with the person next to you. Allow that smile to guide you to a positive attitude. It’s hard to be positive all the time, but we need to try our best. Live long with a smile. Live even longer with the right attitude.

I share the following with everyone, but more so with Jack, Jeff, Linda, Martha, Peter, and Tina. Martha, hang in there. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Everyone have a great week. - paerki

Rule No. 3 - Keep A Positive Attitude (Extracted from The Civility Solution):

Both your present and your future are deeply affected by the mind-set you bring to your daily experience. They way you think your way through life ends up being your life. Whether positive or negative, attitude is destiny. This evergreen wisdom holds true when it comes to relating and connecting. A positive attitude makes you cheerful, attentive, and helpful, and therefore likable and easy to get along with. Also, the effect of your positive thinking may help you fend off illness, which can strain relationships. As you remain relatively optimistic and resilient through nuisances, defeats, and adversities, you are more likely to spare others the less attractive sides of your personality. Positivity makes relationships better, and better relationships reinforce positivity.

So, if you are inclined to perceive what happens to you through the fog of negativity, make a change of attitude your number one priority. Accept negative outcomes as inevitable parts of life but without seeing them as proof that your whole life is a failure. Do not believe that pain or sorrow is forever. "This too shall pass" is a mantra that rarely lies. When I was clinically depressed, everything hurt and nothing mattered. Part of my agony was the possibility - one very real to me - that the hurt might not end. Ever. What if that curtain of misery never lifted? It was a terrifying thought. Then the curtain did lift and the lesson was there for the taking: pain is not forever. If we are smart, we will face the toughest of times with full awareness of this simple truth. Life is hard but not unbearable, wrote the Italian novelist Piero Chiara. This is so in part because pain in a houseguest and we can look forward to the day when he packs up and leaves.

Always find a nugget of opportunity in the rubble of adversity. (It is always there - somewhere.) Disasters are much more common in our minds than they are in reality anyway. Don't let unrealistic fears haunt you. Make an inventory of the good things you have going for you, and nurture your gratitude. Learn to come to terms with your past, believe that you are able to influence your present for the better, and look at your future as brimming with positive possibilities.

This is a lot to ask of yourself, so don't expect that the change will take place overnight. You may have acquired your negative attitude from your parents during your formative years and now need to undergo a process of unlearning that requires patience and tolerance. If negativity and anxiety have such a grip on you that you have trouble enjoying life, seeking the counsel of a mental-health professional may be the smartest thing you can do for yourself.

What would life be like without memories? It’s fair to say, there would be no life at all. Memory is our communication, reason, coherence, our action and more importantly, our feeling. Memories create our path in life, developing our psychology and leading us emotionally.

One of the best ways to create and store memories is with video. These simple effortless little snippets of time create diaries and become perpetual time capsules, which justify our walk on earth, telling all with great enthusiasm… I was here! I mattered! I lived! Please, don’t forget me.

Share your views, thoughts and opinions in the written word. Snap photographs so that your eyes can travel back in time, remembering the happy and sad moments that made you the person you were, are and became in life. But, whenever possible, capture video to enhance the memories you leave behind, so that others may pass the essence of your life on to future generations.


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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

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