Friday, March 27, 2009

I'm Not Talking About Booty Calls

I have a few friends who are playing the dating game. Some have been successful, while others have had very little luck. The difference between the two is how some play the game vs. the games people play.

The “dating game” has taken on a number of different meanings over the past several years. Signals are getting crossed because of verbal uncertainty, giving little justification to the who, what, when, where, why and how of dating. There is no doubt about it, effective communication is key. If you don’t have it, chances are you are not getting a second date.

So when did the game change and the old rules not apply anymore? I think the game changed when technology advanced. Don’t misunderstand me, I love technology, but how we use it sometimes works against us, defeating the purpose.

Back in the day, people were more civilized about how they met people. Typically one would meet people through friends or family members, going to parties or dances, church, bars and nightclubs, sometimes randomly while shopping, in a park or just out and about in the most usual places. In the ‘80s and early ‘90s, people became more adventurous by placing ads in papers and participating in speed dating.

Now, with cyberspace at our fingertips, dating has become super-sized, which has lead people to be more specific about their wants and desires. Many are very strict about age, race and body type, which leads to a game. More so than anything, people have confused dating with sex. It’s time to wake up and realize we are talking about two different things.

What happened to the meeting of the minds, which was about dialogue? What happened to spending quality time together and getting to know each other? I can remember great discussions of daily living, career, weekend plans, goals, family and friends. However, all of this was done in person and not over a phone, by text or email. Several phone conversations without ever meeting and then finally meeting and just having sex is not dating, but a “boo-tee-call.”

Seriously, we need to think about what we want and convey our desires honestly and openly. We need to be completely clear on our intentions. We need to get back to the basics of dating with normal exposure. If you are looking for quality, go old school by striking up a conversation with someone at the gym, inviting a friend out for dinner, venture out to a piano bar, join a hiking group or another group, but get out and meet people.

I can’t say this enough… Set real obtainable goals and stop reaching for something that is out of your grasp. Most of my friends are always looking for what they can’t have and probably shouldn’t have. So many are chasing youth, or hot bodies when they should be looking at people’s insides and chasing stability, which is definitely going to feed into real love. Don’t allow yourself to be deceived by sharp looks, fancy attire and a few extra dollars in the bank. These days, blue collar is looking better and better because white collar is being carted off to jail.

I’m not against the booty call. We all need our stress reducers. However, don’t play people. More often than not, what I see and hear is that sex doesn’t lead to dating and to love. Dating, leads to more dating, leading to intimacy, leading to sex, leading to love and maybe a relationship for a lifetime, if you are lucky. However, at that point it’s not about luck, but your investment, which are interests, time and commitment.

Play the dating game without high expectations. Really decide what you are looking for because some people are only booty call material. Don’t be like me and find out you were with someone for many years and they were just a permanent booty call. Do I sound bitter? (LOL)

Don’t be surprised if the person you are looking for is right in front of your face and has been there all along. There’s noting like finding a diamond in the rough. Go old school dating to find quality. - paerki




















What would life be like without memories? It’s fair to say, there would be no life at all. Memory is our communication, reason, coherence, our action and more importantly, our feeling. Memories create our path in life, developing our psychology and leading us emotionally.

One of the best ways to create and store memories is with video. These simple effortless little snippets of time create diaries and become perpetual time capsules, which justify our walk on earth, telling all with great enthusiasm… I was here! I mattered! I lived! Please, don’t forget me.

Share your views, thoughts and opinions in the written word. Snap photographs so that your eyes can travel back in time, remembering the happy and sad moments that made you the person you were, are and became in life. But, whenever possible, capture video to enhance the memories you leave behind, so that others may pass the essence of your life on to future generations.

Homeland

Preserve Your Happiness (Aug 13, 2013): This is for you, because you need to hear these words again. Live life happy. Find your joy. Now more than ever, it’s time for people to reconnect with their inner self. Find your happy place, rejuvenating the total you – mind, body, soul and spirit. It’s a mandate... Continue Reading

Baltimore City (Maryland)

World AIDS Day (Dec 1, 2013): Many scientific advances have been made in HIV/AIDS treatment. There are laws to protect people living with HIV/AIDS, and we understand so much more about the condition. But despite this, there are still individuals who do not know the facts about how to protect themselves and others, and... Continue Reading

Evergreen Museum & Library

Thank You For So Much Beauty (Mar 15, 2010): Do you realize how much beauty you bring to the world? Do you know how awesome you are? Really?! Do you?! I am in awe of your work. I love your use of rich and vibrant colors, some even electric. The faces are what really capture my attention; they are delicate... Continue Reading

Baltimore Book Festival

A Culture Of Hate (Jan 9, 2011): Weekends fly by so quickly, or so it appears. However, this particular weekend seemed unusually long, and I think it had something to do with the gruesome events that took place on Saturday in Tucson, Arizona. I am shocked by the horror that unfolded, a young man throwing his entire... Continue Reading

Station North Arts District

A 'Seagull' Of Memories (Mar 7, 2010): When I see gulls (known to many as seagulls), I think of the shoreline. I have wonderful childhood memories of playing in the sand in Ocean City; building sand castles, and coming back later in the day to watch the waves crash into my creativity, only to go back the next day to... Continue Reading

H.P. Rawlings Conservatory & Botanic Gardens

God Worthy (Jan 15, 2013): This is your religion. Believe what I say. Ask no questions. So many were raised this way. Our heads were filled with a mishmash of information, controlling minds and for what? I would have appreciated learning more about all faiths, instead of being told – this is bad, and this bad, etc., but... Continue Reading
I love photographs! They have this amazing ability to tell stories of fun places, special moments, memorable events, and exciting places. They give us reason to pause and remember friends, family, coworkers and so many others. One photograph can conjure up a flood of memories taking us on a journey. They help us remember the past, enjoy the present and ponder the future.

On a cold and rainy day I love sitting in my living room with a roaring fire, a glass of wine, classical music playing in the background and my many photographs scattered about me. I love sifting through what I call my special collection, which refers to my favorites. They remind me of the saddest and happiest moments of my life. They remind me of challenges and overcoming.

My large collection of images are a testament to a life lived. Life happens all around us so it’s important to collect special memories, and what better way than with a photograph.

Edith Ann

Mind Body Green (Feb 6, 2014): To the haters, I feel so sad for you – mournful for your lack of empathy and understanding. No one is shoving anything down your throat. This is reality. What's wrong with this photo? This is life! For every photo shown of gay people kissing, there are millions and millions... Continue Reading

Peabody Institute

What Makes A Good Year (Dec 18, 2013): It’s that time of year when I take long walks alone to contemplate the past year. I guess you could say it’s my time to atone. What a year it has been! As I write this I’m wondering what makes a good year? I’ve never asked myself that question before... Continue Reading

Sherwood Gardens

Mural - Mural On The Wall (Mar 14, 2011): All are beautiful in my eyes, as they are striking masterpieces that enhance many communities, especially those challenged by poverty and abandonment. They fill in the gaps for neighborhoods lacking funding and manpower, providing just a bit of hope when... Continue Reading

Browns Orchards

The Human Condition (Jul 17, 2012): Words that are sufficiently crafted can leave a lasting impact on the world. It is good to keep in mind those words that will better help tell our story, ones that will represent us well for years to come. We must be clear in our purpose, concise in our action... Continue Reading

Patterson Park

Selfie (Jan 19, 2014): I was asked the following question by one of my Facebook friends… "I have to ask you this Paul, do you have a personal photographer who is with you constantly?" This question is worthy of a blog post, so here it goes. Enjoy! Good question, and one I am asked often enough and don't mind answering... Continue Reading

Charles Village Festival

Yielding To Signs (Mar 28, 2011): Sunday was the perfect day to be outdoors. The sky was a bright baby blue and absolutely stunning to look at, especially when it became the backdrop for seagulls and blackbirds, effortlessly soaring and plummeting in between wind gusts. It was magical, a hypnotic visual sensation... Continue Reading
There are many people in the world affected by disease. I never thought I would be one of the many. However, at any given time life can change. Mine did! There were many twists and turns, but I made it through and you can too. I am a Celiac on the move living life one meal at a time. Learn more about my life as a Celiac. Celiac Disease is a lifelong, digestive disorder affecting children and adults. In short, I have an allergy to gluten, and the treatment is a lifelong scrupulous avoidance of it.

No matter what, know this: You are never alone. There are people out there who’ve struggled, endured, made it through and are sharing their message of survival. No, they might not be at your side, but their spirit is out there in words, attempting to help others on their journey. Let’s all unite by sharing our individual stories, remedies for healthy living, food and recipes to keep us strong, and let’s find the laughter too because it can be some of the best medicine. Always remember, there is power in numbers. Check me out: A Celiac On The Move

Stony Run Trail

Thank You (Nov 3, 2013): It’s hard to believe another Thanksgiving is just around the corner. In the background while standing waiting for a bus (as well as on the bus), and at the grocery store, I hear peoples’ musings about how they will spend their holiday. While many are frantically digesting... Continue Reading

Holi

You Are Beautiful! (Jul 17, 2013): I wish you could look into the mirror and see beyond your face, way past the surface to see more. More than what the world sees, more than what your friends see, more than I or even you can see. Forget what everything around you tells you to be. Be who... Continue Reading

Alpaca / Lama Farm

St. Michael's Catholic Church (Oct 17, 2011): The weekend has now faded into the past. However, this was one of its highlights. Art is to be found everywhere. When I look at these photos I think about all those involved with the creation of this magnificent structure – from the community (immigrate families)... Continue Reading

BMA (Sculpture Garden)

Bittersweet (Sept 7, 2013): I’ve been estranged from my parents for close to 20 years, but yesterday I learned my father passed away. I sincerely hope he found joy in his advanced years – more importantly, peace. For those who mourn his passing, focus on the memories and the joy he brought to... Continue Reading

Jones Falls Trail

City Of The Silent (Mar 18, 2010): Underground in permanent stasis they speak no more. Many have departed this life, leaving behind a legacy for all to enjoy, cherish, honor and, with a little luck and ingenuity, replicate. For me, this quiet region of slumber still has a pulse, and you can feel it when you walk these... Continue Reading

Country Drive

A Happy Life Begins At Home (Apr 19, 2010): My home is very important to me. My life between these four walls of privacy I value like no other. It’s immeasurable, and absolutely priceless. It’s an oasis with a cocoon-like feeling, shielding me from the outside manipulative forces of violence and pollution. It allows... Continue Reading
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

  © Blogger templates The Professional Template by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008 - Enhanced and Redesigned by PAERKI

Back to TOP